Flashbacks

"Once we... ...and then we..." I nodded along as Crocie explained what he was doing with his boat's mechanics. I had no idea what most of this stuff was or meant. Bumper seemed only a little less lost than me, not surprisingly.
With no warning, something highly unsettling consumed my thoughts. My mind was brought back to the face of a man, who was nothing but insanity and evil. I clenched and unclenched my fists repeatedly at these newly racing memories.
Crocie stopped what he was doing and fell silent, staring at me. Bumper stared at me too. I must have gotten tense again.
"Thyne, are you okay? You look like you're having issues again." I stiffly nodded, my shoulders raising to my chin as I did so. I hated to worry people, especially since I got unnerved like this so often.
Unfortunately for me, and Crocie and Bumper both went to say something else, I lost touch with reality. No longer was I down below with the engine of Crocie's vessel. Surrounding me were frighteningly familiar walls, and a dirty-colored red-brown carpet. Below me sat an old faded couch. I clutched my head, face now buried in my knees, and rocked back and forth. The pungency of the air made me feel like I would pass out. The angered, loud sounds of an all-too-familiar tormentor clomping through the short halls emanated; even without them, I knew what was coming.
And I wanted to die so I wouldn't have to feel it.
Again.
And again.
I was terrified of the worst coming successfully this time around.

As the flashback started to fade, I found myself gripped at the shoulders by a comforting set of hands, and my torso being hugged by a friendly and concerned white blob. My friends were trying to snap me out of it, figure out what was wrong. So many things... And it was true; there was a great number of things wrong with me. I saw no light at the end of the tunnel for me being fixed. But I couldn't let my friends think there was no hope. If they lost their spirits, I'd lose my mind.
What I had left of it, anyway.